August 2018 – Common Infirmities

Buy now! One-time exclusive Brexit offer!

Official Britain is all in a tizzy. They are going to get an exclusive Brexit deal from the EU! Different from what international hoi polloi gets!

The pound has managed to stay above the $1.30 mark, after comments from Michel Barnier boosted hopes that a Brexit deal will be struck.

The EU’s chief negotiator said “we are prepared to offer Britain a partnership such as there never has been with any other third country”.

Is Barnier a used-car salesman? Is he mocking the UK? It’s like he read pop sociology about the British, and realised, they don’t care what you offer them, as long as it’s exclusive. They’ll eat shit, as long as you tell them they’re getting special access to rare hand-selected microturds.

Self-deconstructing clichés: Weight-loss edition

Continuing my series on figures of speech being modified to eliminate their actual meaning, we have this comment on the discovery of the “holy grail” of obesity research. The holy grail, as a reminder, was a unique item in Christian mythology, the dish that caught Jesus’ blood, the single holy focus of the quest of King Arthur’s knights. According to legend it had magical healing properties. As for this holy grail,

Tam Fry, of Britain’s National Obesity Forum, said the drug is potentially the “holy grail” of weight-loss medicine… “I think there will be several holy grails, but this is a holy grail and one which has been certainly at the back of the mind of a lot of specialists for a long time.

As for the magical healing,

All of the other things apply – lifestyle change has got to be root and branch part of this.

And then we have to wonder — a self-deconstructing cliché twofer — what does he mean by “root and branch part”?

Fake secrets. A paradox of Trumpism

The story of Donald Trump’s effort to intimidate his critics by threatening to revoke security clearances has entered a new and paradoxical phase:

On Sunday, national security adviser John Bolton… told ABC’s This Week: “A number of people have commented that [Brennan] couldn’t be in the position he’s in of criticizing President Trump and his so-called collusion with Russia unless he did use classified information.”

I thought the story was that the “so-called collusion” was all a pack of lies. But can lies be classified? Is there fiction whose release threatens national security? Or are there lies which cannot be told without certain secret true information?

Truly, a paradox.

Feeling good about my chances on this coin flip…

People in the know are starting to think a disastrous “no deal” Brexit is now not at all unlikely. According to UK trade secretary Liam Fox

I have never thought it was much more than 50-50, certainly not much more than 60-40.

The Latvian foreign minister is only slightly more optimistic:

The chances of the UK securing a Brexit deal before it leaves the European Union in March are only 50:50, Latvia’s foreign minister has said ahead of talks with Jeremy Hunt.

Edgars Rinkevics said there was a “very considerable risk” that, with time rapidly running out, Britain could crash out of the bloc without a withdrawal agreement.

But not to worry. Rinkevics went on to say that

having said 50:50, I would say I am remaining optimistic.

I suppose, technically, he is more optimistic than Hunt. Why so gloomy, Jeremy, with your exaggerated estimate of 60% chance of disaster? I think it’s more like 50 percent. That’s a glass half full if ever I saw one…

Of course, an “optimist” is usually thought to be someone who thinks the chances of disaster are significantly less than a coin flip. Continue reading “Feeling good about my chances on this coin flip…”

Tense times for Trumpism

Troy Balderson, the Republican candidate who just may have squeezed out a narrow victory in a special election for a House seat heavily Republican-leaning district in Ohio, can’t quite remember when America is our was our is going to continue to be great:

Over the next three months I’m going to do everything I can to keep America great again.

I guess people have been overwhelmed by the rapidity of the national salvation that Trump accomplished…